ANOTHER DAY...
Another day, another swim in open water, another freak-out! I don't know whether I can actually do this triathlon---this whole blog itself may be written in vain, which is the reason I didn't start this earlier. I was never sure I was going to do the triathlon, so I didn't want to write about it! So, another open water swim today initially left me sure I would not be doing the tri. But now a few hours have elapsed, I am not so sure about that decision to give up when it's so close...

I went to swim in a lake this morning. The lake swim was planned by a group of "mentors," probably more to give them swim practice than to help their "mentees," but there were a mix of both in the group. I was eager to get into the water, and I was calm walking in (zero entry, gradual drop off) and I even swam about 20 strokes before I went into that panic-mode again. I couldn't catch my breath, couldn't swim, I couldn't go forward, couldn't go back to shore, just didn't know what to do with myself. Yikes! I ended up paddling back to where I could stand again, and I caught my breath. A mentor (someone's mentor, not mine--- but I wish she was mine!) came up to me and tried to talk me through this event. Ultimately, she had me swim out just a little, then back to shore; then we swim a little farther together, then back to shore; we repeated this exercise a few more times going a little farther every time. I had no problem doing any of this! In fact, on the last leg of this exercise, I felt great and calm, and was enjoying the relaxing swim in the lake with the sun beaming down on me. Now, I don't know where my head is! Will I FLIP out the next time I get into open water? Am I cured of my panic? Will I ever get in the open water again to find out? I. Don't. Know.